When you see people around you are in pairs, while your partner is far away, how do you feel?
Do you often have this kind of feeling:
"They are in love, while I'm lonely!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm in a long-distance relationship."
In a romantic relationship, long-distance relationship is the most terrifying mode of living for people to experience.
Someone once jokingly said, "Long-distance relationship is doom to break up."
Quite a few of friends around me break up due to long-distance. The problem of long-distance poses the couple on both sides a great test, so how to maintain the long-distance relationship is a question that loads of people concerned about.
I. Why Is a Long-distance Relationship Considered a "Break-up Relationship"?
To know the answer to the question, first of all, we have to understand where the problem actually lies.
The two major problems of long-distance relationships can be divided into:
▷ External reasons - physical distance
▷ Internal reasons - uncertainty of each other's feelings (psychological security)
Physical distance is the most visualized problem. Many couples can't see each other for ten days or half a month or even a year and a half, and they can only deal with their problems through the screen or the phone, and the time they spend with each other in each other's lives accounts for a small proportion.
What's more, if one can not get the other's reply in time, it will lead to the second major problem.
That is, the uncertainty of each other's feelings, which can also be interpreted as psychological security.
Whether a relationship can last for long or not requires mutual trust and understanding, and when there is enough trust, the relationship between the two people will be stable enough.
But long-distance relationship couples, due to the distance, will be not familiar with the living environment of each other.
When we can't reply to each other's messages in time, our sense of uneasiness will be strengthened, and then we will have all kinds of bad thoughts that are not conducive to the development of the relationship, which will lead to misunderstandings and then cause discord.
In the case of there being no way to solve the issue of physical distance, is it true that long-distance relationship deserves no good results?
In fact, in a university study, it was shown that the break-up rates of long-distance relationships and non-long-distance relationships were 27 per cent and 30 per cent respectively.
The study concludes that there is no significant difference between long-distance and non-long-distance relationships, and that the breakup rate for long-distance relationships is even slightly lower.
Because of the geographical separation, couples become more eager to communicate with each other.
At the same time, the study also shows that the cheating rate of long-distance relationship is not higher than that of non-long-distance relationship.
Therefore, there is no direct causal relationship between long-distance relationships and breakups. In other words, long-distance relationships can also blossom and last for long.
II. So How Do Couples in Long-distance Relationships Enhance Their Relationships with Each Other?
To enhance the relationship between couples in long-distance relationships with each other, perhaps you can do as follows:
a. Communicate, Communicate and Communicate.
In fact, in this point long-distance relationship is more advantageous, because the distance can let each other see the other's problems, instead of being ignored by other things when they are together all day.
Some couples in the early stage of the relationship will have endless topics. But with the deepening of their mutual understanding, both of their enthusiasm will encounter a certain degree of retreat and they will begin to produce all kinds of conflicts and abrasions, which is likely to cause a crisis in the relationship if poorly handled.
The long distance gives rise to untimely communication, coupled with the limitation of communication methods. That problems can not be solved in time is also the reason why many people break up.
Therefore, communication is very important.
Video chat can be used more often in daily communication, rather than only text and voice, so that facial expressions and body language are involved and each other can better communicate.
b. Customise Some Proper Rules for Both.
You can make rules specific to both of you according to each other's habits and preferences.
For example, a specific time can be set as the exclusive time for you, and no other things can be arranged during this time.
Set special words and code words to indicate the expression of a certain emotion, especially when the other person is in a bad mood, or before starting an argument. The special code words can give a certain psychological cue to make the other person aware of his or her emotional change.
c. Create Some Small Surprises.
Although the distance is very far, it will not prevent each other from making some small surprises for each other. You can prepare some small gifts for each other in daily life and mail them to each other, or simply order a takeaway or dessert.
Show your emotions through these material things, which can also improve your exposure in the other person's mind, so that the other person will be able to think of you as soon as they see or hear it.
Psychological studies have shown that a proper surprise or gift can sometimes do more to make the other person feel that you care about them than a little love talk!
d. Create Opportunities to Meet.
The love shown on the screen between you and me is no more real than a face-to-face embrace.
So, grasp all the opportunities to meet with each other and prove your sincerity with practical action.
