If you're like most people, then you know what it's like to be in a relationship at first, but before long, all sorts of fears start to crop up, such as insecurity, or rather, worrying about whether or not the relationship will end in heartbreak and disappointment.
It's all too common.
Most of the time, these anxious moments are resolved and the relationship moves forward.
But for some people, this is not the case.
Their fear grows and eventually affects their ability to move forward in the relationship.
Men and women who struggle with this kind of fear usually fall into one of the two categories.
Category 1:
People who believe that once someone gets to know them deeper, rejection will follow. These people are often deeply hurt by past rejection.
Category 2:
Those who fear that if the relationship deepens, they will be trapped by the demands that come with commitment.
For this group of people, emotional intimacy feels like a prison sentence, with the frightening consequence of losing one's freedom. People with this kind of fear will unconsciously restrict their emotional commitment.
This reaction may give rise to a result where relationships never deepen to the point of establishing a healthy degree of interdependence and intimacy.
In short, if left unnoticed, these fears can stifle a person's ability to have a good intimate relationship.
I. Overcoming the Fear of Losing Freedom
Let's start by chewing on a hard nut. If you want a meaningful intimate relationship, you have to give up some of your freedom, otherwise you'll have to be single.
There's nothing wrong with being single, but you need to look at it so you can make according choice.
How much freedom you need to sacrifice is another question.
Once you are clear about how much freedom you need, things become much easier and you can clearly tell this to your loved ones.
If this is expressed in a warm and encouraging way, it will motivate your partner to tell you his or hre needs as well.
Do you need to go out with your friends once a week?
Great, your partner will probably reply that he or she needs to spend time only with you three nights a week just for you.
The compromise begins to take shape.
Freedom is not a dichotomy. It always has degrees and is never absolute.
But if you can't sacrifice some freedom for a relationship, it means that you've decided not to enjoy mature intimacy.
II. The Cost of Succumbing to Relationship Fear
It can be scary to face the fear of rejection and the fear of losing control of your life.
But not facing it will be costly.
It could lead you to end up accepting a relationship with someone whose main attraction is that he or she is so nonchalant, passive and superficial that he or she doesn't pose any threat to your unfounded fears.
Or, it could give rise to your remaining single when you're more willing to share your life with someone you love deeply.
Don't hide from your fears for it's too costly to do so.
Instead, use the above tactics to move on, overcome your anxiety, and create a brighter future with you beloved one.
